As I struggled to write an email to a friend that has been given a short time to live, I am somberly contemplating goodbyes.
I realized, a long time ago, I am not good at saying goodbye. As a child, I was the girl that was homesick at camp; I cried when my parents dropped me off, I cried when they left after coming to visit, and I cried just about every night. As an adult, I cry when I am driving away from their home. I really cried dropping both of my boys off at college and when I had to say goodbye to my beloved dog. I wept, writing an email to a friend prior to her death on August 9th. I had not seen her in many years but that didn’t matter. There was a heart connection that had never been severed and I hated it for her family, her friends and all those whose lives she touched. I wept, today, writing the other email to my other friend who will also soon go to be with Our Lord. I weep for his family, his friends and for the hole that will be left on this earth with him gone. Recently there have been families that have had to say goodbye to their children, a journey I cannot imagine taking.
When I work with people, in life coaching and organizing, I realize, we struggle with all kinds of goodbyes. We all struggle to let go of items that represent the past that is no longer. We struggle with saying goodbye to a relationship. We struggle to say goodbye to bad habits, unhealthy lifestyles, and unhealthy thoughts. We struggle to say goodbye to our comfort zone. We struggle with parting with memories. We weep for what was, what might have been and what we sometimes fail to see can be. ‘
Goodbye is just hard. Goodbye is the pain of change. Goodbye is not just words, it is an unbelievable cry of the heart.
Goodbye is hard and a period of grieving is an absolute must. But after that period of grieving is over you can choose to continue to grieve what’s gone or you can begin to build on what was and continue to try and live your best life now……living with purpose, living with things that bring you joy now…..in other words, living in the present.
I may never get good at the act of goodbye, but I pray I get better at knowing when to say goodbye, when I need to move on after the goodbye, and to live the life I have been given.
So for now, I won’t say goodbye, I’ll say TTFN (ta ta for now).