The word “constant” has been creeping up in my vocabulary a lot lately.
Talking to mothers about motherhood….it’s constant.
Talking to wives about marriage……it’s constant.
Talking to people about work…….it’s constant.
Talking to people about relationships…….it’s constant.
Talking to people about bill paying…..it’s constant.
Talking to people about staying organized…….it’s constant.
Talking to people about cleaning……it’s constant.
So, what does this mean? Life is constant. There is stuff in your life that constantly needs attention.
So, what do you do?
Take breaks when you can.
Appreciate the small breaks you get.
Realize this is what you signed on for when you became a wife, a mother, a friend, a member of a group, a homeowner, an employee.
Life ends up not really being about you but you in the context of life with all of the other people in it. It’s just how life is so you can fight it, fuss about it, talk about how bad it is, whine about it, cry about it or nag about it. But a better alternative might be to embrace it, change what you can about it and find things to be thankful in it. Your approach and your attitude makes all the difference in the world in having a miserable life or a wonderful life……either way, it’s going to be constant.
I have a love/hate relationship with so many things.
1. I love to eat…..not always really healthy stuff. I hate the pounds and inches it adds to my body!
2. I love to visit family. I hate the travel it requires for me to get there.
3. I love to play internet games – yes I am guilty of indulging in Candy Crush and Scrabble! I hate when I allow them to be time suckers
4. I love to read. I hate I cannot stay awake long enough to finish reading.
5. I love my “smart phone”. I hate the way it can keep me too connected.
6. I love looking at the deer in my backyard. I hate they use my bushes and plants as their personal food buffet.
7. I love my persistence. I hate my persistence when it won’t quit persisting.
8. I love my house. I hate the upkeep.
9. I love saying hello. I hate the fact I have to say goodbye.
10. I love writing. I hate when the only thing I can think to write is what I love and hate.
I am reading a book called The Noticer Returns by Andy Andrews. This book is all about perspective and how a person thinks. How do you perceive and think about what is going on in your life?
I have had the conversation about perspective with a number of people lately. Perspective and the way you think have more impact on your life than most people ever realize. In The Noticer Returns, it says “the way a person thinks is the key to everything that follows, good or bad, success or failure. A person’s thinking – the way he thinks – is the foundational structure upon which a life is built. Thinking guides decisions.. Thinking – how a person thinks – determines every choice.” The author goes on to say “a person’s thinking is what he is.”
Proverbs 23:7 says it like this: For as he thinks in his heart, so is he.
Your thinking can have such a huge impact on your life. One of the examples, given in the book, is about a man who was in financial ruin and his credit was shot. The main character asks the man, in financial ruin, if an extraordinary life would be to live debt free and of course the man answered YES. The main character (the noticer) explains that the man’s circumstances have made it so that he can’t get a loan, because of his credit score, therefore allowing him to live without debt. So, he turned what appeared logically to most as a bad situation into a lesson on perspective.
I love this book because it reminds me to notice things in my life that others may overlook and try and look at things in a new way…….a little perspective in life can make life even sweeter!
Ok. I know. Not sure I should have used that title but I just couldn’t come up with a more appropriate word. Not sure what that says about my vocabulary but there it is.
As a professional organizer I spend a lot of time talking to people about their clutter. We go through all the reasons they want to hang on to it, all the excuses, the rationalizations, and the justifications. In the end, I get to the question of do you love it, value it or need it….really? These are not always easy questions to answer honestly and I get that. I have a few things I have refused to let go of, just because.
As a life coach, I spend a lot of time talking to people about their emotional clutter. We go through all the reasons they want to hang on to it, all the excuses, rationalizations, and the justifications. In the end, I get to the questions of is it helping you, teaching you or getting you to where you want to be now and in the future…..really? Again, these are not always easy questions to answer honestly and I get that, too. I have a few things I have refused to let go of, just because.
All this to say, what we don’t want to do is organize crap. When you throw a bunch of things, that you have not purposefully decided to keep, into a beautiful container, you are organizing crap, it may be beautiful on the outside but on the inside it is not. When you throw a bunch of emotional clutter into a beautiful home or mask it with something else, you are organizing crap, pretty on the outside but dark and painful on the inside. It is time to pay attention to what you are keeping…..physically and emotionally. Pick up each piece, ask the tough questions and decide if it is helping you or hurting you. In the end, you want to be left with stuff that is going to propel you forward and give you room to grow. So, don’t postpone those decisions that need to be made so that your life can be lived with purpose!
(photo courtesy of digitalart/freedigitalphotos.net)
I think I have messed myself up…..not the first time. I have been looking at some challenges that run for 30 days (sound familiar?). These challenges, on the face of them, seem manageable, important for my health or work goals and necessary. These challenges seem like the answer for me……I can do any of these for 30 days. Let’s go over the list of the 30 day challenges I have hoped to complete.
1. 30 day squat challenge…..start with 55…..by day 30 you’ll be doing 245.
2 1 mile walk/run every day for 30 days.
3. 30 day arm toning challenge. What 54 year old women wouldn’t love to trim her wing span?
4. Ultimate Blogging Challenge….no big deal….blog for 30 days straight.
None of these seem difficult when in isolation. However, coupled with my schedule, real life and the other challenges, they have somehow or another dissipated into the can I even start the challenges. For example:
1. 30 day squat challenge………started strong…..got up to 100. Christmas came and there went that one! I am still beating both my son’s girlfriends because I started!
2. 1 mile walk/run…….rain, cold equals I don’t think so
3. 30 day arm toning challenge…..nope didn’t even start it, yet.
4. Ultimate Blogging Challenge….yep….so far, so good. 5 days and counting.
So what does all this say. I either need to set more realistic goals or I really like writing more than I like exercising. I think I know the answer, however, being the stubborn person I am, I am going to keep trying to start and complete these challenges. I know I won’t be sorry I did.
It is the time of year where everyone is figuring out ways they can do better, be better, and look better. One of the dangers, in this process, is when we begin to compare ourselves to others.
It is never a good idea for me to compare this 54 year old body to the 20 something year old body on the workout pictures on Pinterest. Even when I was the 20 something year old, I didn’t have that body and didn’t have the discipline to ever achieve that body. It is never a good idea for me to compare my lived in home to the beautiful homes in magazines. My home is beautiful to me but I have raised two boys, 3 cats, and 1 dog in this house, along with my home being open to neighborhood friends and families. I don’t live in a magazine and never will. It is never a good idea for me to look at all the DIY ideas and get frustrated by what I haven’t done or could do. There are some DIY projects that intrigue me, but there are some that are just not worth my time and effort…..that is just the way it is.
For 2014, I want to be a better me, not a better version of anyone else, but be a better version of me. Striving to achieve some of the things others have achieved is only good when it is something I should be striving to achieve. I am on my own journey, with my own purpose, with my own body, with my own set of obstacles, gifts and talents. I do want to do things better this year, but I will set my own achievable, manageable goals.
Comparison is the thief of joy and I choose joy instead of comparison.